Earlier this week, I was in the Denver airport waiting in line with all the other people to go through Security. I picked a line and as usual it turned out to be longer. I looked ahead to see what the matter was. The TSA (transportation security admin) agent was acutally talking to people. As I got closer, I could see he started by saying hello and then, after stamping the boarding pass, he would say something very nice to each person he was speaking.
Now if you’ve been in the airport usually the TSA people are intimidating or just bored. But not this guy. Everyone was smiling in his line.
The Zen Papa and I call these people “Validators” after watching a wonderful short film a few years ago. (see below) If you’ve never seen this short film, it’s a fable about a parking attendant who gives his customers REAL validation – dispensing both free parking and free compliments – (Please watch and become a validator!)
A compliment is a powerful tool in life. Why compliment? This isn’t just a secret to a good relationship. Compliments spreads sunshine wherever you go. It makes people feel valued and creates a positive environment around you both. Sometimes it can be the only good part of someone’s day. A compliment is a little gift of joy. But the most wonderful thing is that the giver often feels as good as the receiver.
Now we try to be Validators everywhere we go. It doesn’t take very long. At the most maybe 30 seconds. Give it a try today.
My only advice is:
• Make it something real. Be sincere.
• Follow up with a question. “I love this meal. Can I have the recipe?”
• Be appropriate.
• Be specific. Not just “You look nice today” but “That color really is good on you.”
• Don’t expect anything in return.
Now aren’t you wondering what he said to me? When I got up to the front I was already smiling. He said, “You’ve got beautiful eyes. People must tell you that everyday.” I knew it was coming. In fact I’d already heard him tell another woman the same thing but you know what? It still made me feel great for hours.
I only wish I had said back, “What a good TSA agent you are!”
So your homework is to go out into the world and cheer someone up today. It takes practice but after a while it will flow more naturally.
“A compliment is verbal sunshine.”
– Robert Orben
P.S. **Here are some special ways to compliment your kids**
It’s so important to compliment your kids. They hear so much negativity from you and the world every day. Please tell them these things followed by examples:
• “I’m proud of you.”
• “I believe in you.”
• “I trust you.”
• “You’re beautiful/handsome.”
You’ll be amazed at the results!
Now please take 16 minutes to watch this incredible short film because Zen Mama Reader – You are amazing. You have so much potential and you are my inspiration!
One more way to validate your children… A good friend has shared her new venture with me called Symbuzzles. What is a SYMBUZZLE? A Symbuzzle is a symbol word puzzle with a message that is engaging and fun to read. They are like little flashcards. In fact their tagline is “Love Your Kids In A Flash”. The cards send a great message to your children. You can give them to your children in their lunch, on their pillow or in a suitcase. Here are a few:
Check out their website! http://symbuzzles.com A regular set of cards is $6.50. They also have deals for more than one pack and more!
I have two packets to give away! Just leave a message in the comments section about how you validate someone in your life OR how someone you know does! If you email Denise, she will give you $2 off each pack. Just go to the website and let Denise know (firstname.lastname@example.org) which pack you would like.
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