A few months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. I was worried about a friend of mine, a mama, who feels she is at her rope’s end. Her family is in the midst of financial worries. She feels like she has no control of her life. She feels stuck. I really wanted to help her but there, in the middle of the night, I realized that people have to help themselves. I wrote my friend a letter that I never sent.
Since then, she is seems to have hit bottom and is working her way up. The Zen Papa thought I should post the letter so that it could benefit someone else.
It’s time to change your life.
I wish I could help you. I could try and call all the time. I could send you books that might remain unread. I could tell you, “If you change your thoughts you’d change your life.”
You might answer back: “That’s easy for you to say. You were born lucky.”
I’d say: “Am I lucky because I am lucky or am I lucky because I think I’m lucky?”
You will say: “You don’t have any worries. You don’t worry about your kids anymore. You don’t have any financial worries.”
I say, “But I do have worries as everyone else does. I just see them differently. My life is the same life everyone is born with. But I think differently.”
This I know: I can’t help you. You have to help yourself. If you truly believe life is happening the way it’s supposed to, then I want you to believe that reading this letter is the motivation you’re getting to change things. You have to start by saying this affirmation:
“Today is the day I’m going to start to change my life.”
First, write this list of the things you would change that very day if you could.
Or maybe just before you write that list, answer these questions:
1. When am I most happy?
2. Am I just letting life happen to me?
3. How can I help myself and in doing so help my family?
4. What area of my life can I control? What area of my life is out of control?
5. Why can’t I follow my passion?
6. What is stopping me?
7. What am I waiting for? Why can’t I start today?
I like Byron Katie’s 4 questions to help you to attack each problem and see it differently. Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Try her four questions:
1. Is it true?
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do I react when I think that thought?
4. Who would I be without that thought?
So ask yourself these questions as you begin to change your thoughts and your life!
(Click here to find out more about Byron Katie’s “The Work”.)
Yes, “Life isn’t fair”, as someone we know used to say. But you can’t wait for a person or an event to change before life gets fair. Maybe, just maybe, if you change your thinking, then your life will begin to get better, little by little. You can’t wait for life to change first. You have to be the change you want to have in your life.
Try to realize that you are the one you’ve been waiting for to heal you and change your life.
I love you!
I’ll be speaking with Andrea DeBell at the Britelife Summit on July 27 at 12:00 Pacific Standard Time. We’ll be talking about how to find happiness as a parent. It’s an online event, so you can access the interviews by either calling in or through a free Internet webcast. All you need is a computer. It will be available for 48 hours after that, too, for free.
Sign up! Click here for more information.
Like what you’ve read and want to the Zen Mama’s Blog delivered straight to your email? Just put your email in below: