“See the day as obstacle free with only possibilities.”
~ the Zen Mama
A few months ago I was out on the end of our friend’s dock on Shadow Mountain Lake in the mountains of Colorado. Our friend was telling us how she’d started paddle boarding and wanted to teach me how. I knew while she told me that I wouldn’t try it. I was worried I would fall in the water. Shadow Mountain Lake is very cold! And another excuse was, I hadn’t brought a change of clothing. But I followed her outside with the Zen Papa and listened to her instructions, fully ready to say, “Thanks but no thanks.” I’m not really much of a risk taker. I’ve been like that since I was a child. Better to be safe. I didn’t ride the roller coasters or ferris wheels. And I was totally OK with that.
Then I thought of so many things:
• Recently a neighbor died of cancer. That has gotten me doing things that I might put off until it’s a better time.
• I thought of my students at our preschool. Each day at my job as a preschool teacher I observe my 4 and 5 year olds. How perfectly they see the world.
It doesn’t matter if their clothes match. Family and friends are everything to 5 year olds. They are the Super Heroes of their own lives. They have no preconceived ideas and wonder at everything we teach. They are curious, forgiving, open and take risks.
As they get older they realize that the world isn’t like that. They feel criticism. They keenly feel the sting of peer pressure. They know what can go wrong. In turn, they are less creative because they realize that can make mistakes and actually fail at something.
So how does one keep that freshness and enthusiasm of the 5 year old?
• Lately I keep running into the phrase “The Beginner’s Mind” from a book written by Zen Master Shunryo Suzuki. In the book, Suzuki describes the mindset of the “Beginner’s Mind” and the “Expert’s Mind”. Suzuki was the one of the first Zen masters to come to the United States and begin a Zen practice. The book, Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind, is a compilation of his talks. I was stuck by the quote at the start of the book:
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”
The Beginner’s Mind is innocence, emptiness, optimism, and simplicity (Like my 5 year olds). The opposite of Beginner’s Mind is the “Expert’s Mind”. The Expert’s Mind knows too much, is set in his ways, is fearful, unexcited and wants to play it safe. (Like me!) It’s a concept in Buddhism called “Shoshin”.
I thought of the many times I’ve been in both places. When we bought our first house and then sold it several years later, we had no idea what we’ve doing. The idea of changing houses and moving now would be very stressful. When I wrote the first two books, I didn’t worry about the process, the writing, the marketing or the details, I just did it because it felt like the timing was right. I like the idea of getting back to the Beginner’s Mind and letting go of being an expert!!
Cultivating the Beginner’s Mind
So how do we cultivate the Beginner’s Mind in ourselves and in others?
• Cultivate the Beginner’s Mind in your children and the people around you by actively listening and being open to their ideas. Don’t automatically say, “No, I don’t like that” or “Not right now, I’m busy.” Encourage the people in your life to take a risk!
• Cultivate the Beginner’s Mind in yourself. This is a little harder to do.
1. Ask yourself this question: What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? And who cares if I did fail or not? If I fail with paddle boarding, I get a little wet and borrow some clothes. Is that the worst thing? Like Thomas Edison wrote, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
2. Let go of your mindset. Don’t listen to the little voices of criticism in your head, whether it’s society’s voices, your mother’s or your own negative critic. Many times I’ve stopped myself from trying an activity like paddle boarding because, “I’ve never been very good at sports.”
3. Let go of the “But, if I do that, then…” What, then I’ll get cold and wet in the water? What’s so bad about that? Or maybe you think to yourself, “I’ve never done it that way.” Well, why not?
4. Don’t worry about what other’s think. As Wayne Dyer says be “independent of the good opinion of others.”
5. While doing your activity, don’t think about anything else. Be in flow. People in flow are known to be happier people. (But that will be another post on another day.)
Thinking about the Expert’s Mind vs the Beginner’s Mind also got me out of my writer’s block with one of the books I’m working on. I’ve become so motivated that I’m hoping to have it done by the end of the week. And if not, then maybe the next but why wait? I’m starting now!
I’m sure you can guess where this story is going. I shocked the Zen Papa who was sure I wouldn’t try paddle boarding. I got on that paddle board. I followed our friend’s directions and voila! It wasn’t really that hard. In fact, it would have been hard to fall off because balancing was easy. And best of all, I was proud of myself for trying something I wouldn’t normally do.
I got over my fear with the concept of the Beginner’s Mind. (Isn’t Shadow Mountain Lake beautiful?)
What is something that you wouldn’t normally do?
What is holding you back?
Is it a trip you’d like to go on? A book you want to write?
Try to get back to that place, the Beginner’s Mind. Maybe you haven’t been there since you were 5 years old.
You are the author of your own life. So, like my 5 year olds, be a Super Hero!
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Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind is always on my nightstand. I refer to it again and again. Often I find that I read a passage and may not get a lot from it initially, then hours or days later I gain an understanding.
I like your advice to let go of your mindset. This will be today’s intention – to realize a beginner’s mind.
Dan @ ZenPresence.com
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 6:58 am
Thanks Dan!
Beginner’s Mind has helped so much lately on a project on I’m working on. Actually got me through it because I was so bogged down with thoughts of not finishing. Glad it’s an inspiration for you, too!
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Excellent post Betsy, thankyou.
The “beginner’s mind” is a terrific concept for all things in Life…especially when we are stuck in the same old, same old…it’s fresh, it’s exciting…and I like that!
be good to yourself
David
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 6:58 am
So glad you enjoyed the post, David! It is fresh and it does get you excited about life!
Thanks for the comment!
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Hi Betsy,
I’ve been wanting to try paddle boarding. Glad to know it is easy to stay up as I don’t like to fall in the water either.
Great point to your post – it is nice to go back to the days when you are open to all possibilities. Take care.
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 7:00 am
Hi Cathy,
I really did like it. It might be more difficult in the ocean but I’d be more prepared to fall in I think. Glad you enjoyed the part where we could be back to the day of possibilities. That is amazing!
Thanks for the comment!!
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Great post Betsy. And so spot on. It’s a wonderful question to ask ourselves to be open to all possibilities. An open mind is one that’s available for growth and move our of being stuck in the rut of what we already know.
Love Elle
xoxo
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 7:01 am
Elle,
I was so stuck in a rut when it came to working on a book and now with beginner’s mind I’ve just about finished it this week! It is truly wonderful to think like a child and not have the fear of failure in the back of my head.
Thanks for your comment!
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Betsy,
I love the way you describe a five year old. Your steps are awesome. It’s my turn to print something out here! xo
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 7:02 am
Thanks Tess!! Working with 5 year olds is the best job I can have!!
Thanks for the comment!
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LOVE that quote from Suzuki Roshi! By choosing to be the beginner rather than the expert we free our usually ego-driven selves to experience whatever is happening *full-on.* Wahoo! Others are attracted to our openness and vulnerability and, best of all — as you point out — we get to reinhabit the playful five-year-old we once were and who’s still alive inside of us. Thanks for your heartfelt reminder, dear Betsy!
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 7:14 am
Thank you Suzanne! Isn’t that an amazing quote? I am trying to free myself on a project I’m working and the beginner’s mind is what finally helped me! So glad you enjoyed and I so appreciate the comment
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My favorite example, as you’ll easily guess, is that of your pre-schoolers. I learn something from children whenever I spend time with them – which is very often. And the simple lessons are very profound, if we would listen.
Thank you for such a wonderful post, Betsy. You know things have been not so normal at home and I am trying pretty hard to move forward and get back on track.
I want to read The Beginners Mind.
Love, Vidya
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 7:15 am
I’ve been thinking about my preschoolers for a while and how perfect life is at 5 years old. And I know how much you spend time with children. We can always come away with something to learn from them.
So glad you enjoyed and I hope life is getting back to normal for you! Thanks for your comment!
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Awesome indeed!
I guess most of us have apprehensions and blocks in our lives, that we place for ourselves. This is what stops us from proceeding further, which as you rightly mentioned is out expert mind speaking to us or the conscious mind.
The subconscious mind is quite like the beginners mind because it’s free of negative thoughts that often stop you. All you really need to do is give yourself that much needed PUSH and just go with the flow, and you will realize things happening. All your negatives turn to positives once you do that. I guess you would know best because you did get on that paddle boat! ( I have a similar fear so I know the courage it must have taken you!)
And yes, the lake with you on that paddle boat look awesome indeed.
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Harleena,
I love your description of the subconscious mind. Maybe the subconscious is the original beginner’s mind.
Thank you for such a great comment!
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Pingback: The boundaries of responsibility
I love your blog post. I’ve recently being saying that I’ve lost my adventurous spirit and this is so similar to what you’ve said here.
I got most of the best things in my life by being adventurous – going out of my comfort zone and trying new things.
I’m starting to re-build so that I can have that person again. Your post was very inspiring.
BTW, your comlov doesn’t work for me
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Thank you so much, Anne! It’s amazing how we do lost our adventurous spirit as adults. I’m working on gaining it back, myself. And actually I’m not sure I ever had one! Looking forward to visiting your website as well.
PS Sorry about the comment luv! I’ve tried deleting and reinstalling. I can’t figure it out but I hope to someday soon!
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This might be my favorite post ever on your blog. Wow, you hit this one out of the park. I love that book, and that quote. I love paddle board story. I love the photo of the lake and you on your paddle board. I love your courage (I know how cold that mountain lake water is!). I love the observations about children. Just great. Really great.
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Thank you so much Galen! Your comment was made me so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
PS I’m so enjoying your book!! And I’ll be mentioning it in a blog post soon.
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Hi Betsy,
Wonderful post with powerful advice, explained in a simple way.
It was very timely. I will be demonstrating some leadership in my work soon and I was worrying that I wouldn’t be able to do it and would get in wrong.
After reading your post, I’m going to use the Beginner’s Mind, be focused and present and do what needs to be done. Thanks Betsy!
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Hiten,
I’m so glad you found this timely. You’ll have to let me know how your presentation goes.
And thanks so much for the link from your blog. It’s much appreciated.
Thanks for the great comment, too!
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Betsy – Love, “you are the author of your own life.” So true.
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Maggie,
Glad you like that!!
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Betsy,
I’ve not read the book and I love this quote…Wayne Dyer says be “independent of the good opinion of others.” Just what I need to begin the week;) xo
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
So glad you enjoyed this, Tess!! Wayne Dyer always had the right thing to say, doesn’t he?
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I enjoyed this post tremendously. I find it to be true. When my elder daughter was young, she was fearless. But as she got older, she lost that fearless spark somehow. She has become more concerned about how she appears in front of her friends. A real pity! I think more can be done to inculcate the beginner’s mind. Your tips are wonderful! Thanks, Betsy!
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Betsy Reply:
October 29th, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Thank you Evelyn! I found the same to be true for my children. It seems to start sometime around early elementary school. Sometime as soon as kindergarten. So glad you enjoyed and found it relevant and enjoyed the tips. I’m trying hard to keep that beginner’s mind while I work on finishing my latest book.
Thanks for your great comment!
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I love that you said that balancing on the board was easy. Maybe balancing is always that easy.
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Betsy Reply:
November 1st, 2012 at 6:51 am
I think you hit on something Unknown Mami! Maybe all balancing is easy is we give it a try. I love it!!
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I LOVE this post, Betsy!
Oh yes – we weigh ourselves down with pre-conceived notions, expectations of ourselves and others, warnings from the inner critic, etc… and that affects our choices.
BUT, you’re right! We can look at things from The Beginner’s Mind – and as they say, ignorance [in this case, I'm thinking of challenges/risks, etc.] is bliss! I’m so glad for this reminder, since I think I’ll be coming up on many things over the next several months where a beginner’s mind will be very helpful. Thank you!
Oh, and as I read your post, I was also thinking of the period where my littlest was learning to walk. It didn’t matter how many times he flew to the floor face-first, he was open and determined to keep at it until he did it! It of course didn’t matter to him what the obstacles were or what others thought. It was awesome to see.
Christine xoxo
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By the way, good for you for throwing hesitation aside and going for it! Must have felt fantastic. (And kind of fun, surprising your husband… hee hee). Wow – Shadow Mountain Lake is beautiful.
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