From Eckhart Tolle’s Book, The Power Of Now
~ Buddha
There are so many things to take away us from the NOW. Thoughts of the future, regrets from the past, technology, concerns over your children’s lives, the news and the fear it generates, the economy and who’s to blame. Maybe you have health issues or financial worries. All these concerns take us away from the NOW and put you back in the past or into the future. This leaves you with the inability to appreciate this very moment and feel peace.
When we were young parents we learned a lesson on appreciating the NOW. We won a trip to Hawaii from a radio show contest about 16 years ago. We were thrilled. We got to stay at the Embassy Suites with a full breakfast (always important with kids!) and a rental car for 5 days. Little did we know that we’d be getting one of the biggest lessons we’d ever learn in life, “Don’t wish your life away!”
Looking back, we should have been appreciating the moment but we had just been thinking about the future and retirement. We woke up very early because of jet lag. The sun was just rising and the sky was pink and dark blue, the air warm and balmy and the ocean was just the right temperature. I sat on a beach chair with the baby, while The Zen Papa watched the boys, ages 5 and 7, chase the waves. A man in his 60s came up to John and they began to have a conversation. He was in Maui and retired. He had brought his whole family to be with him and his wife. John made this wistful comment to this man, “I can’t wait until I’m retired.” The man’s pointed his finger at John and said, “Don’t wish your life away.” It was a moment we’ve never forgotten.
Living in the moment seems simple but is not always easy. Here are 9 ways to NOT wish your life away and stay grounded in the present:
1. Before you put your feet on the ground when you wake up, think a pleasant thought or think about something nice you can do for someone else that day.
2. Close your eyes. Use your other senses besides sight. What are the smells? What do you feel on your face, the sun or wind? What are you hearing? If you are eating, then really taste the food instead of just eating to satisfy hunger. When you open your eyes you will be more attentive to the present moment.
3. Instead of always feeling stressed or anticipating some anxiety, go out and do something! Take a walk in a beautiful spot, workout; get your body moving and your blood flowing.
4. Be mindful, slow down. Wake up early and enjoy the coffee with your loved ones. Actually stop at every stop sign. Take a deep breath and as you exhale, drive away. Pay attention to where you’re driving and what you’re doing at work.
5. Make a list on paper, so that you don’t have Monkey Mind, that chatter or the running list that is always in your head.
6. Be quiet in nature. I try to go outside and watch the sunset or sunrise each day. I listen and watch the wildlife in our yard. Look at the stars. All simple things, I know, but it works.
7. Have a real conversation. Listen to what a person is telling you. Practice active listening. Look in their eyes, ask questions. Participate. Don’t think of something else while they talk.
8. BREATHE. Many eastern practices have helped people to breathe and live in the moment. Meditation and yoga are just two examples. Andrew Weil has a great breathing exercise.
9. Remind yourself of how lucky you really are. Gratitude can help you to remember this. Gratitude reminds you of all that is positive in your life.
While we never knew his name, the retired man on the beach in Maui left a big impression on us. And while we often dream of the future, we try to stay grounded in the present and remind ourselves daily of how lucky we are!
Running from the waves in Maui
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.”
~Henry David Thoreau
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“This leaves you with the inability to appreciate this very moment and feel peace.”
I took a day off recently and had no plans. I tried not to think of any worries or concerns. Luckily it was a sunny day so I sat in the sun, I enjoyed a cup of tea, I took a bike ride,……I spent the day just being. What peace.
Now to learn to be present in the moment every day.
Dan @ ZenPresence
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 3:58 pm
Dan,
Your day off sounds wonderful! I’ve done the same thing and can’t think of anything better!!
Thanks for the comment!
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My kind of post, Betsy – and with such powerful messages. While we practice mindfulness, and living in the moment, there was a phase when we were worried only about the future because the present was very tense most of the time. Then things came to a head and we learned to slow down and appreciate the small things, because we often did not know how the next day would turn out. I am glad we did.
Thank you for this wonderful message.
Love, Vidya
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:02 pm
I thought of you, Vidya, when I wrote this! It fits in perfectly with our positive thinking ideas, doesn’t it? I agree when we worry about the future we are very tense. But slowing down to enjoy the small stuff is the best!
Thanks for the comment!
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Wonderful indeed!
It’s something I have always believe in and am living it too – to live in the moment and make the best of whatever life puts forth, without any ifs and buts.
Loved your ways shared and the pictures too. They surely, like most kids, live in the NOW without having to worry about what the future holds for them, nor bothering much about the past – that’s what we need to learn from kids – isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Thanks so much, Harleena! So glad you enjoyed! I agree that we can learn that about kids, not worrying about the future. But I believe there are many children, especially as they near the teenage years, that have a lot of anxiety. They need to learn about mindfulness and living in the moment, too. Maybe, HOW TO BE A ZEN TEENAGER, should be my next book!!
Thanks for the comment!
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Betsy
I love this post especially the words Don’t wish your life away. I heard a family member say I thought we were meant to be retired and I thought well that is what your body is hearing- tired.
Great 9 points and no 9 to live in gratitude is so important
PS you comment luv does not seem to be working
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:27 pm
Suzie,
So glad to see your name here. I’ve been planning to visit your blog for a long time. I agree that living in gratitude is one of the best ways to be present.
Thanks so much for the comment! I’ll head over to your blog, too!!
PS I’m having the comment luv worked on. I just can’t seem to fix it myself!!
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I love these ideas, Betsy. Especially being quiet in nature. You remind me of how fortunate I am to live in Hawai’i and to make sure I’m present for every moment. I find meditation the best training for being present in the moment both on the cushion and in life.
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Hi Sandra,
Glad you enjoyed the post. Yes, being in nature in Hawaii is extra special. I need to practice meditation a little more often. I really think it would help me, too.
Thanks for the comment!
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Lovely wisdom. I shall incorporate #1 immediately. I’ve had a lot of thoughts over the years about what I should do first when I wake up. This is brand new, and it resonates.
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:23 pm
Lucy,
So glad you enjoyed #1. My husband and I read that years ago. I often forget to do that but when I do it seems that I’m always filled with gratitude all day long.
I always love to see your name here…Thanks for the comment!
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An inspiring list thank you .
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:22 pm
Thank you Diane! So glad you enjoyed and took the time to comment!
Hope to see you name again soon.
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What a great reminder Betsy that we only have now and to make the most of it. That way the past can’t disturb us and the future can move into the present in it’s own time.
I totally relate where you are coming from here, which is maybe why I love visiting your blog!
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Thank Carolyn!!
Sometimes we forget about the now. I’m very guilty of these because I’m a planner!
I’m always happy when I see your name here. Thank you for the comment and for visiting as well!!
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Hey Betsy,
Lovely post as always and so relevant to what I needed to hear on this day. Happy New Year to you and your dear family. Your writing is changing lives so keep it up.
Ashley
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Hi Ashley,
So glad it fit the day so well! And thanks for your sweet comments. Looking forward to getting together soon!!
xoxo
Betsy
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Great reminder Betsy. Happiness does come from living in the now. Thanks for sharing.
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:18 pm
So glad you enjoyed!!
Thanks for the comment, Cathy!
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Betsy,
I loved this post. What a great insight you were given and it’s oh so true for us all. Now is the only creative place we have.
Great pics of the kids…such happy little faces to brighten everyone’s day.
Love Elle
xoxo
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:18 pm
Thank you, Elle!
I agree that creativity happens in those moments, too, when the anxiety of the past or future just isn’t there.
Thanks for the comment!
P.S. Those little ones are now 22 and 20!! Amazing, isn’t it?
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Nice work Betsy, thankyou.
be good to yourself
David
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:16 pm
Thank you, David!! Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the comment!
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Pingback: Cherishing the gift of life, a walk along Sankey Tank Sadashivnagar
So lovely, thanks for posting. What a great reminder. I’m taking my family (with young kids) on a vacation soon for this very reason. I’m trying to appreciate each and every moment with them (even when they drive me crazy!!).
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:16 pm
Kara,
I hope you enjoy your trip very much! We started out taking our kids because we couldn’t find people who wanted to watch three boys. In the end it’s been so beneficial for our family having these trips together. It’s the main time where we’ve gotten closer.
Thanks for the comment!
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These are all great tips. I especially like the one about using senses other than our sight. We are so sight dependent that when we close off that sense, a whole new world opens up to us! This is a great story about the man on the beach. Like the quote, “Be where you are. Otherwise you will miss your life.”
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Thanks Galen! I love your quote! Who said that? It would make a great Facebook poster!
Thanks for the comment!
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Hi Betsy,
What I really appreciated about your post is the way you explained how it is the most simplest of activities that help us to remain in the now and be truly happy.
Real happiness doesn’t have to be hard. Of course, this is easy said than done. However, by doing the activities that you mentioned we contribute to our peace and the peace of others who we interact with.
This was a great post to read before my yoga class this evening. Thank you.
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Thank Hiten!
Real happiness doesn’t have to hard but sometimes our culture makes it complicated. I’m so glad you read this before yoga. I’m going to get back into yoga myself.
Thanks for the comment!
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I meted to make a point of getting outside more. Being quiet in nature always helps me appreciate the now. (And that book was life changing for me!)
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Thanks Miss Britt!
I assume you mean the Power of Now! Yes, an amazing book that I haven’t read for a long time and was thinking of picking up again after making that poster.
Thanks for the comment! Glad you visited our positive community!
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Hi Betsy
Very nice article.Recently i wrote an article on how to live a happy life .In that article i have mentioned the same that people are always busy in past and future so they miss the beautiful moment that is NOW (present).
Living in the moment is best thing one can do to their life to make it the best.
The points you have mentioned are great.
Thanks for sharing
Shorya Bist
From Youthofest
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:08 pm
So glad you enjoyed Shorya! I’ll have to visit your website and check out your article. I agree that so many people don’t see the perfection of now until something happens. Then they look back and wish for those moments back.
Thanks for the comment! So glad you visited our positive community!
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I love this. It is so important to live in the now and not wish your life away.
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Thanks Mami! So glad you enjoyed. I always love it when I see your name here! I’m way overdue over at your blog, too.
Thanks for the comment!
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great reminders! i practice zen and yet still constantly need these reminders!
- laura @ bickbits
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Betsy Reply:
February 1st, 2013 at 4:06 pm
Thanks Laura! I agree that we definitely need reminders! Life sometimes gets the better of us!!
Thanks for the comment!
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I needed to read this post this morning! I woke up feeling behind schedule. Reading this helped me stop and center myself. Love it!
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Betsy Reply:
February 4th, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Linda,
Oh, I’m so glad it helped this morning! My goal is achieved!
Thanks for the comment!!
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Living in the moment doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about the future, or do reckless, irresponsible things. It means that when you make a choice to do something, you focus on actually doing it, rather than letting your mind dwell on the future or past.
Great post Betsy , thank you so much for these useful tips
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