Cherish the Ordinary Day
Charlie is very wise for a soon-to-be 20 year old. He already understands mindfulness!
What a perfect thing for me to hear. I needed that reminder that when you’re down and life is not all you are wanting at the moment, you need to change the way you think. And then this morning I heard the unthinkable, the saddest possible news… a senior at Oliver’s high school committed suicide yesterday. The gift of an ordinary day suddenly seemed even more precious.
How do you find joy in the mundane? So many of us are overwhelmed by all we have to do. Housework and chores can make us very irritable. We’re driving kids everywhere. Going to work early and coming home late. How do you slow down to smell the flowers and let go of being bored with the “dailiness” of life.
How about changing the way you think to “I get to” rather than “I have to.” It’s a privilege to wake up every day, be alive and breathe.
Life is a privilege
Then I thought about the wonderful book I read 15 years ago that really made me stop and start to cherish each day with my children. It’s called Mitten Strings for God. (Not a religious book by the way.) This book helps parents to stop speeding through life. It’s a classic for hurried mothers and their children. Each chapter helps us to be more present in our children’s life and make the ordinary sacred. After I read it I went out and bought one for my sister, my sisters in laws and my closest friends.
In one of the very first chapters, Katrina Kenison talks about an author for whom she was an editor. Her first best seller book she edited was by Olive Ann Burns. The book was Cold Sassy Tree. (such an incredible read by the way!) Olive Ann was battling cancer and ultimately did not survive. As she went through her cancer experience she wrote about what she would miss about life. She’d miss the dailiness of things. One of the things she mentioned was dishes. She wrote of the special things she’d miss seeing out the window as she did the dishes.
“I have learned to quit speeding through life, always trying to do too many things too quickly, without taking the time to enjoy each day’s doings. I think I always thought of real living as being high. I don’t mean on drugs – I mean real living was falling in love, or when I got my first job, or when I was able to help somebody, . . . In between the highs I was impatient – you know how it is – life seemed so Daily. Now I love the dailiness. I enjoy washing dishes, I enjoy cooking, I see my father’s roses out the kitchen window. I like picking beans. I notice everything – birdsongs, the clouds, the sound of wind, the glory of sunshine after two weeks of rain.”
~ Olive Ann Burns
Well, from that moment on I decided to love doing the dishes. I didn’t want to wait for a tragedy, like cancer, for me to appreciate the dailiness of life. I now look out the window and notice my vegetable garden, the rabbits and the changes in the color of the sky. The laundry took me a little longer to love. But now, as I fold my children’s clothes or my husband’s or that of the many boys end up in our house, I feel a part of their lives and what they love and realize how much I would miss them if and when they are gone. Or how much I would miss the simple things in life if I were about to go.
Doing mundane things may seem like a chore but think of it in a different way. Wouldn’t you miss it if you were told you didn’t have long to live. What if something happened to a member of your family? Wouldn’t you wish for that perfect ordinary day again?
What a privilege is to live on this Earth, to have a home and clothes that get dirty and beautiful dishes that need washing. Vacuuming and floor washing can become a meditation with the right attitude. Cooking can be your creative masterpiece. What a privilege to have a family to care for, not to hurry along and miss the dailiness. Have gratitude today for all those little chores that might drive you crazy any other day. Cherish this ordinary day.
Change your attitude, Change your life!
I highly recommend Mitten Strings For God by Katrina Kenison and Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns. Both are so good!
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Betsy,
This is such a great read (as always) and the timing couldn’t be more perfect! Thank you so much…….now I am off to order those books! ♥
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:22 pm
Carmen,
So glad you enjoyed! And glad you ordered the books… I know you’ll love!
Thanks for the comment!
xoxo
Betsy
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Great reminders. It’s easy to start the day with the intention of being “present” and appreciating all of the little things. Once the day gets rolling though, it’s easy to lose sight. I plan to check out Mitten Strings for God, it Sounds great. I’m so sad for the parents, family and friends of the Senior that took their own life. They will certainly be missing the mundane.
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:34 pm
Jessie,
I agree that we can lose sight sometimes of the goal as the days go on. I think you’ll love the book… it’s wonderful!
Thanks for the comment!
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Beautifully written Betsy!
You are so very right – we all tend to just get so involved in our day to day chores and miss out on the precious moments of life, which come and go so fast. We need to cherish each of those passing moments and literally treat them as if they were our last ones.
I know it’s easier said than done, and we often need reminders like this to take hold and slow down our lives, and appreciate and value the fleeting moments.
Thanks for sharing and reminding us about it
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Thank you Harleena,
So glad you enjoyed the post. Yes, easier said than done to slow down, I agree! But those become to be the best days in the world.
Thanks for the comment!
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Ah, story of my life, Betsy. I learned, through experience, long ago that it is in the little things that life’s joys reside. I experience it on a daily basis and often write about it. So you do know that this post touches my heart and gives it a nice warm squeeze.
It reminds me of this lovely thing I read long ago:
The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
The taxes I pay because it means that I’m employed.
The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
My shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home
The space I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.
My huge heating bill because it means I am warm.
The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
… and so on
Hugs! Love you.
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:39 pm
Vidya,
I love your list! So perfect and so true! Is this a poem? Did you write it? Contradictions that go so well together. And I’ve read your posts and know that you do appreciate everything on a daily basis.
Thanks for your comment!
xoxo
Betsy
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This is so true Betsy.
Some time ago I was in a writer’s group and one woman was saying how she used to really hate doing the laundry, that her husband was always going from one thing to another during the day and changed his clothes often (they were retired) and now, since he passed away she’d give anything to have that much laundry to do again.
Beautifully written Betsy and I also loved Vidya’s take on it.
Love Elle
xoxo
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Elle,
Thank you for this story. Sometimes you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.
So glad you enjoyed!
xoxo
Betsy
PS I loved Vidya’s comment, too!
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I like the idea of “I get to” instead of “I have to.” It changes your focus to one of gratitude. When I’m doing mundane things I often like to take my time and really focus on doing a great job at the task at hand. Focusing on doing a good job helps me set aside the desire to rush through the task and helps me enjoy it more.
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:53 pm
Hi Eric,
It’s a very helpful concept to look at life with a “get to” attitude. And yes, it’s becomes gratitude!
I like your idea of focus, too.
Thanks for your comment!
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thank you betsy
i have been working on enjoying each moment
this is a wonderful reminder
lsm
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:56 pm
So happy you’re working on enjoying each moment. I love to plan for the future so it’s important to stop and take time out and just enjoy the day. And so glad you enjoyed the post!
Thanks for leaving a comment.
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Betsy, I know how you feel – it was hard to see Phoebe go off to school today, so solemn and dressed all in black. I’m so sad that that little girl didn’t see that people care. Your post made me cry – I am going to have her read it too. Thanks! Danielle
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 8:59 pm
Danielle,
So very sad. From what I understand she was getting help. I hope Phoebe finds some comfort.
Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment!
xoxo
Betsy
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Good blog, Betsy.
Enjoyed reading it, and will try to enjoy the mundane things in my life and realize
how lucky I am to be alive and in good health, surrounded by a most loving family!
Your Dad
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Dad,
I couldn’t have said it any better!
So glad you enjoyed the post!!
Love,
Betsy
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Awesome Betsy!
We forget that the extraordinary can be found in the ordinary. Sometimes when I wake up early and watch the sun rising I feel the most exquisite joy come over me. It’s just the start to another “ordinary” day but, I yet I feel ecstatic.
This was a great post – we all need reminding how wonderful our “ordinary” lives are.
xoxo,
Angela
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:04 pm
Angela,
What a beautiful response. I love to watch sunrises, too, and feel the same way. What joy!
Thank for the comment!
xoxo
Betsy
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This post reminds me of a shift I’ve experienced in my kitchen. I began juicing a few months ago, and I used to hurriedly prepare my fruits and veggies to put through the juicer. Then I’d rush through the clean up so I could relax and enjoy my fresh juice. Doesn’t sound so relaxing, does it? LOL
Somehow without realizing I began to slow down. I wash and chop the produce as if I had all the time in the world, and even the clean up has become rather a zen state. And by the time I sit down with my juice, everything in me has already slowed down. Not sure how, but I’m pretty sure it makes the juice taste better
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:06 pm
I completely understand because I have changed with my cooking and eating. I so thoroughly enjoy the preparation. It’s become something I need to do to unwind. I use all my senses and mindfulness when I eat. I agree, that this makes the food taste better!
PS I’m going to try juicing soon, too. I just inherited a juicer.
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One last note…
“The sacred is in the ordinary.” – Abraham Maslow
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:04 pm
Love that quote! I should add it to the post!
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Hi Betsy,
Nice read, lovely thoughts. The son of a friend of mine only has months to live…2 young children will be left without a father. Cherish each moment.
Be good to yourself
David
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:07 pm
Hi David,
Oh that poor family! So sad to hear it. I will be thinking of him.
Thanks for your comment.
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Wow. I loved “Mitten Strings From God”–one of my favorite little books, thank you for the reminder! Each moment is a precious gift. Truly. When I recognize the sacred gift of this moment, there isn’t an “ordinary”, everything is extraordinary–from breath and all that happens within my body, to everything external. Thank you for this beautiful reflection! I love that your son shared the idea with you!
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:08 pm
Joy,
You’re one of the first people I know who has read the book. I love what you that there isn’t any ordinary, everything is extraordinary. An incredible way to go through life. Yes, amazing that my son wanted to do this post. I had to write it right away!
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Love this one Betsy. It is reminder when people leave this earth too soon that those everyday moments bring us the most joy. Thanks for the great post!
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Betsy Reply:
February 21st, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Thanks Cathy!
That is the good that comes out of death. The reminder that we must appreciate those everyday moments.
So glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for the comment.
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Betsy-
So many beautiful thoughts in this post. Your words that grabbed me on this given day at 530am – ‘It is a privilege to wake up everyday, be alive, and breathe.’
Thank you, thank you for a vintage Zen-Mama post. xxoo-Fran
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I remember all the years when my life was in constant, chronic crisis and stress. I used to long for a year that would be unmemorable, for a string of ordinary days. And when I finally experienced that, I did not take it for granted! Ordinary days are precious gifts.
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Such a beautiful and important message. A few months ago, I was at a point in my life where I was always striving for the next big thing and I often forget to cherish this day. However, living in NY and still being new to the city has given me an appreciation for the NOW. When I’m on the train and see the Staute of Liberty or I look up and see the Empire State Building, I have to pinch myself and I often can’t believe that I’m HERE in this moment on this day living this life.
The moments of “ordinary” make up our life, which is why they’re so very special.
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I have a book called the Gift of the Ordinary Day. Same one, maybe?
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Betsy Reply:
March 13th, 2013 at 5:22 am
Hi Missy,
That is her next book. I haven’t read that but I should!!
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DOES A PERSON LIVING THROUGH INTUITION ALWAYS SUCCEED? No, but he is always happy – whether he succeeds or not. And a person not living intuitively is always unhappy whether he succeeds or not. Success is not the criterion because success depends on many things. Happiness is the criterion because happiness depends only on you. You may not succeed because others are competitors there. Even if you are working intuitively, others may be working more cunningly, more cleverly, more calculatingly, more violently, more immorally. So success depends on many other things; success is a social phenomenon.
by Osho
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Betsy Reply:
March 13th, 2013 at 5:37 am
Jennie,
Thanks for this Osho quote! So true!
And that’s for the comment.
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