There’s a beautiful gift you can give your family and friends. And, you don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day or a birthday to give it. You don’t have to pay for it either. It doesn’t need a ribbon or bow. It can’t be wrapped in fancy paper. The recipient may not even know you’ve given them this. But they’ll feel it. And you, as the giver, will benefit, too.
What’s this amazing gift? It’s the gift of non-judgment. Judge less, accept and allow and you will find your life and relationships change.
Why should you stop judging? It seems obvious…
• You hurt other people.
• You hurt yourself.
• Judging people can really make you unhappy.
• You put negativity into the world.
Judging is an easy thing to do, a very human thing. We all do it, many times unintentionally. About three years ago, I decided not to judge anymore after an incident with a friend:
Several friends met in a little beach town for one friend’s birthday. We were having so much fun. The friends that were already there were having a little gossip about one friend that hadn’t joined us yet. I can’t believe it, but I joined in. At the time, it was fun to have a little gossip! It really brought us closer even. But then the other friend arrived. She’s a sensitive friend. In my guilt I sensed that she could feel it. Did she? Maybe, maybe not. But I learned later she didn’t have as much fun as she could have. Had I been a part of that? I vowed not to judge again.
I had finally realized the difference between making a judgment and of being compassionate. In letting go of judgment, you shed discrimination and prejudice. You have an open mind. You remain impartial yet concerned. You understand every side.
Letting go of judgment is not indifference; it’s letting of of attachment and feeling kindness, compassion, sympathy or love instead.
So your homework: Try a Judgment Free Day. Try a day of no expectations. Let go of perfection for yourself and for your family, friends and co-workers. When you feel the judgmental thought come, listen to it and then let it go.
For your Non-Judgment Day:
1. Start out by not judging yourself. Don’t worry if your hair doesn’t look good, you slept in, you ate too much etc… Be easy on yourself, enjoy yourself.
2. Try thinking some words of compassion like Namaste (“The divine light in me honors the divine light in you”) If you feel comfortable, you can put your palms together and put them in front of your heart. This sets you up in a place of compassion.
3. Imagine someone’s story. You may see things one way, but there’s always another story. Sometimes you only see the tip of the iceberg. As Walt Whitman says, “Be curious, not judgmental.”
4. Let go of your ego. It’s usually NOT about you. Don’t take things personally. Along with that let go of the need to be right. If you have to choose between being right or being kind, choose kindness. (That’s to Wayne Dyer for that last thought.) Also choose to allow and accept is the “antidote” to the ego.
5. Sometimes we gossip to impress others. Those people aren’t your friends. Remember you might be the next person they gossip about.
6. Look for the good, rather than bad. What you focus on can expand. So change the way you look at people and the people will change. (Or maybe you will!)
7. Rather than judge someone, offer to help. “How can I help you?” Maybe it’s just listening with an open mind and heart.
Humans are naturally judgmental. You are. I am. It is human nature. It’s time to let go of that natural judgment. Let go; be mindful. Maybe, just maybe, there will be less divisions in the world and we’ll be closer. Whether it’s just with your family or your friends, or even people you don’t know. You might try extending non-judgment to the whole human race.
I’d love to hear your stories of judgment/non-judgment below in the comments.
Here’s few of my Facebook posters that I’ve made to go with non-judgment:
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