When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking… I Was!

My mother and my three siblings in Sedona

My mother and my three siblings in Sedona

“In teaching (and mothering) you cannot see the fruit of a day’s work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years.”
~ Jacques Barzun

I am so lucky to have the mother I do as an example of how to be the best mom. I won the Mother Lottery. She is the original Zen Mama. Growing up she was ever present yet not hovering. She didn’t seem to worry and always trusted that I was making the right decisions. When I had problems, she listened, without judgement and then gave me solid advice but didn’t press me into following it. When the time came for me to go to college, travel or move to Colorado, she let me go on these grand adventures in life with a smile and a cheer even though inside she knew she’d miss me. We are finally living in the same town again, much to my joy and delight. My mom is a blessing and my inspiration!

Mothers, as we know, are very influential in their child’s life. I don’t think we mothers even know how much we influence our children. We mainly influence them by example. We act, they look.

Each stage with our children is about letting go. From the moment our children lift their heads up and roll over, they are working towards independence and we need to let go at each stage. We don’t have to worry (but we will anyway!) because hopefully if we were doing our job of setting a good example, they were watching. Remember that saying? “Do as I say, not as I do.” Children are always watching you!

I was watching my mom, taking it all in. And when I became a mother, this is what I strove to be like! When I wrote the book, How To A Zen Mama, I unconsciously had in mind all of those nuggets that my mother set her standard by. I’m very lucky!

Here’s favorite poem that sums it all up! And a few quotes to inspire you or write in your Mother’s Day card!

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

“When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang up my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I LOOKED….
and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.”

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
~ Author Unknown
(Thank you to the Zen Papa for loving me!)

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”
~ Honoré de Balzac

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
~ Tenneva Jordan

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
~ Rajneesh

“A mother understands what a child does not say.”
~ Jewish Proverb

“It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.”
~ Barbara Kingsolver

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”
~ William D. Tammeus

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.”
~ Chinese Proverb

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”
~ Sophia Loren

“I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.”
~ Unknown

And to my children, Max, Charlie and Oliver, thank you so much for teaching me these many lessons about what being a mother is all about! You’ve changed my life. In letting you go, I’m able to see to sit back and see the person you’ve become. You’re all perfect the way you are and I love being your mother.

My birthday and my three boys

P.S. My latest book, Zen Tips, Daily Meditations for Happiness and Fulfillment From the Zen Mama, will be on sale at the Kindle store for just $.99, starting Saturday for 5 days, in honor of Mother’s Day!

Have a wonderful day!!

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This entry was posted in Gratitude, Holidays, Parenting, Positve Thought and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking… I Was!

  1. Hi Besty,

    You act, they look! Love it. Happy Mother’s Day to you and you mom! Love the Sedona photo of the fam! Where was it taken? xo


    Betsy Reply:

    We were on a hike last Thanksgiving in Sedona called Soldier’s Pass. It’s near Coffeepot. We hadn’t all been together at the same time for a long while, so it made the picture even more special!
    Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!


  2. CJ says:

    Ever present but never hovering – a beautiful way to describe that way of being!


    Betsy Reply:

    That is something to aspire to, isn’t it?
    Thanks for your comment!


  3. Vidya Sury says:

    Very very sweet read, Betsy! Happy Mother’s Day to you! Hugs!


    Betsy Reply:

    Thank Vidya!! Glad you enjoyed!
    Hugs back to you!!


  4. Ted says:

    Wonderful blog, Betsy.
    What a nice, and very accurate tribute to your mom. I was as lucky as you to have
    found her, and now, after 53 years together (this May 27th) to be enjoying her company
    and love.
    She has taught you well about motherhood, and it has shown in the three wonderful boys
    you and John have brought up so well!


    Betsy Reply:

    Thank you Dad!
    I’m glad you found her as well!! And, we’re lucky to have you, too!!


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