“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Have you ever been somewhere else in your mind when you should be right where you are? Maybe you’re thinking about shopping while you should be listening to your child. Have you ever started driving and then ended up at your destination but don’t remember much about the trip? It’s kind of like being on automatic pilot!
I missed entering this blog last Friday because I wasn’t being mindful of my husband, John. He had been sick all week. We drove to Durango to see Max at the end of the week. Instead of seeing Max, John spent 4 days in the hospital with pneumonia. We didn’t realize how sick he was. Were we being mindful of all the signs?
What is mindfulness? Wikipedia describes it as a “calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself.” It is also an awareness of everything around you. It’s paying attention on purpose.
John Kabat-zinn, a famous teacher of mindful meditation, has a wonderful book about mindfulness, Wherever You Go, There You Are. He writes:
Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to being present.
There is no "performance." There is just this moment. We are not trying to improve
or to get anywhere else. We are not even running after special insights or visions.
Nor are we forcing ourselves to be non-judgmental, calm, or relaxed. And we are
certainly not promoting self-consciousness or indulging in self-preoccupation. Rather,
we are simply inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with
intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and
equanimity right here and right now.
How do we practice mindfulness with our children?
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1. First notice breathe deeply and notice your breath.
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2. Be in the moment with them.
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3. Be non-judgmental. Let go of the normal expectations while you talk with them. Mindfulness does not react to what it sees, it looks and observes.
My most recent “mindful moment” happened a few months ago while I was waiting for John to join me for coffee on the front patio. The sun was beginning to peek over the trees and it backlit a beautiful spider web. As I looked, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; a spider taking it's web apart. I didn't know that spiders did this. As the sun hit the web, it detached the bottom anchors that held the web steady to the ground. My son Oliver joined me and we watched the spider roll the rest of the web like a sleeping bag. It used its 5 legs to roll and one to hold itself steady on the top anchor. Then it detached the last string, rolled that up too and climbed into the bell that is part of a wind chime. Then geese flew overhead, we could hear the whoosh of their wings and baby birds chirped in the hole of our tree. I was glad Oliver shared the moment with me.
“Mindfulness is mirror-thought. It reflects only what is
presently happening and in exactly the way it is happening.
Mindfulness is non-judgmental observation.
It is that ability of the mind to observe without criticism.
Being aware and being awake to the present moment”
~Thich Nhan Hanh
