One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. ~Chinese Proverb
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
~Franklin P. Jones
Getting just the right hummingbird shot took a lot of patience. It was fun waiting for just the right shot. But being patient isn’t always fun.
A parent at our preschool said to me that life would be easier if she had my patience. She was being driven to edge by life, job, children and her house. It’s pretty easy for me to be patient with other people’s children. It’s more difficult to be patient with one’s own children.
I went through a number of years of losing patience. I still sometimes struggle with it but I stop myself from yelling in frustration now.
What makes you lose your patience? A child that won’t stop arguing? Crying and screaming tantrum? When you’ve asked your child to do something 3 times and it’s still left undone? Missing school assignments that are still missing three weeks later? If you’re going to practice being a Zen Mama, here are some suggestions:
Get rid of Expectations! This is very important and goes against what we’re taught by our culture. Every child is different and he or she might be different from you! If you don’t have expectations then you can’t be mad. It’s a hard concept to get your head around.
Children have to learn themselves from their mistakes. I know you know what’s best for your children. But they have to figure life out on their own.
Remember - they’re just little people. Think how you’d feel if someone never had any patience for you. No matter what the age. Your three years old is barely out of babyhood! Even teenagers have only been on this Earth a short while! It’s amazing they know as much as they do! The brain doesn’t fully develop until their early 20’s. Give kids a break!
If you’re having trouble keeping it together and being patient, take a moment for yourself. Take time out for yourself from the situation. My yoga teacher used to lock herself in the bathroom so her teenage daughter would have to talk through the door to her. Get a babysitter or if that’s too expensive find friends who will trade child care.
And remember: Don’t take things personally - we’re often too close to the situation. A child isn’t usually doing something to make you mad or hurt you. Children don’t think about doing something purposely to hurt their parents.
Taking the above picture of a hummingbird took a lot of patience. I took many pictures before the right one worked. My relationship has changed with my children since I’ve acquired the skill of patience at home. The same patience I have with my preschoolers.
